A 3-step guide for defining your values

This project was inspired by an article promoting confidence-boosting affirmations for kids to say each day. I wanted our affirmations to be a little more specific and energizing than the ones in the article, so I began writing out some ideas. After a few lines, I realized that what I was writing was actually a list of values. The idea of having a set of family values, much like a company will outline for its internal culture, was instantly exciting to me. I thought I’d make it fun by using the letters of our last name!

After sharing my family values online, I began helping friends identify theirs as well. Below, I will walk you through a super easy way to complete yours as well. This project combines values, affirmations, and manifestations. I will quickly introduce those concepts in case you are unfamiliar with them.

Let’s lay the foundation

What is a value?

A value is a standard of behavior or a principle that defines who you are as a person and helps guide your decision making. Your values also shape the way you tell the story of your life. In general, people share a lot of the same values, but each family puts more emphasis on some values over others. This family values list should be highly-specific and reveal how you and your family stand out from the masses.

What is an affirmation?

An affirmation is a positive statement that you say about yourself. They’re reminders of the good qualities you possess. For example, “I am a giver.” The act of practicing affirmations is to repeat them at least once a day. You can say it out loud or inside your mind. Many people say theirs while looking in a mirror. However you do it, just do it every single day. It is an extremely effective way to stir up some resilience and self worth within yourself.

What is a manifestation?

A manifestation is a statement about something that you want, written as if it has already come true. For example, if your desire is for you to become a more patient parent, your manifestation would be something like “I am a highly patient parent who approaches all challenges from my children with ease and compassion.” Like an affirmation, you need to repeat it at least once a day. It should be written down on paper or a sticky note so that you don’t struggle to remember the full sentence. Your family values list will act as a manifestation of all the qualities you want your family to have one day. Setting the intention is the only way that will come to fruition.

The 3 steps

1. Write a list of things you want your family to believe about themselves

Beginning with this list will make it easier for you to identify the right words later. You’ll want to explore values of both the head and the heart. Or, to word it another way, think about both masculine energy (goals, tasks) and feminine energy (love, connection) values.

2. Determine a word for each letter in the name

Choose to do a list of either all adjectives or all nouns. Don’t mix. To do this, Google search “positive words that start with _” for each letter to easily find words that resonate with you. Before settling on the final word, it’s helpful to write a couple of words for each letter. Avoid decision paralysis by writing no more than 5 options.

3. Write short affirmation sentences for each word

These statements will become part of your self talk throughout life. When they face resistance in the world, they can use these affirmations to remember their values, stand firm in their integrity, and take action to overcome all challenges.

Also, no one says that you have to do it this way. You don’t have to choose a word for each letter in your name. You could, instead, write sentences that start with each letter. Do what makes most sense for you!

To help you get started

I’ve created a full alphabet with some word and statement ideas for you. My hope is that it will make this process easy as pie for you, so that you’re more likely to do this for your family! I went with adjectives for my family values, so I continued down that path with this alphabet. Remember that you can take another route with yours!

A. Adventurous. We are always on the hunt for new experiences.

B. Brave. We love a challenge and do not fear failure.

C. Creative. We are incessantly inventive and bursting with ideas.

D. Dedicated. We complete everything that we begin.

E. Empathetic. We listen to and care for everyone’s feelings.

F. Flexible. We easily adapt to the unpredictable.

G. Generous. We give more than we ask for.

H. Helpful. We seek out opportunities to serve others.

I. Independent. We are capable of all things on our own.

J. Jovial. We believe humor can be found in all things.

K. Kinetic. We put into motion all that we desire.

L. Luminous. We share our light with everyone around us.

M. Mindful. We fixate on the present and appreciate what’s in front of us.

N. Nurturing. We keep our own cups filled so that we may give more to others.

O. Optimistic. We know that all will turn out great in the end.

P. Patient. We approach all challenges with ease and compassion.

Q. Quick. We take immediate action when something needs to be done.

R. Resilient. We work harder when things get tough.

S. Supportive. We help and strengthen the people around us.

T. Trusting. We know that we must give trust in order to receive trust.

U. Unifying. We bring people together.

V. Valiant. We courageously continue forward no matter what.

W. Wild. We let our curiosity guide us.

X. Xenial. We are friendly and accommodating to everyone around us.

Y. Youthful. We stay connected with our inner-child’s playful spirit.

Z. Zen. We remain calm in the face of adversity.